Friday, January 12, 2007

10 Rules For (Not) Wearing a Speedo...

At the community pool where I have been swimming for the last five years, more and more men are wearing Speedo's (AKA banana hammocks). To stop the alarming increase, here are 10 rules men should follow to know when to "Say no to Speedo's."

You probably shouldn't wear a Speedo if any of the following conditions apply to you. If you are:
  1. Overweight (BMI 25 - 29.9)
  2. Over 30
  3. Trying to impress women
  4. Married
  5. Shy or modest
  6. Not a competitive swimmer or diver
You definitely shouldn't wear a Speedo at the community pool if:
  1. Two or more of the above conditions 1-6 apply to you
  2. Your Speedo reveals your tan line
  3. You are over 40
  4. You are obese (BMI 30 and above)
  5. Your wife, your children or your grandchildren tell you not to (ask them).
As a public service, post these rules at your community pool. Do it were everyone will read them and follow them. Don't put it right near the sign that say "Everyone Must Shower Before Swimming." People may read that sign, but they don't follow it.

1 comment:

Nick said...

Just 1 rule is needed: ban Speedos!