Saturday, January 23, 2010

5 More Rules for (Not) Wearing a Speedo

It's been two years, since I first/last wrote on this topic, and yet the Speedo fashion among men-who-should-know-better continues to grow! Granted, much of the growth has been in the knee-length jammers which show less skin, but Speedo jammers are still skin-tight.

So, in a further effort to combat this alarming trend here are 5 more rules for (not) wearing a Speedo:

  1. If your underwear is more modest than your swim suit, don't wear it!
  2. If you are swimming in the slow lane (or if you should be), that Speedo you are wearing is ironic and you are clueless.
  3. Never wear a flesh-colored, floral or paisley Speedo. It is dangerous to force your fellow swimmers to keep their eyes closed.
  4. If it is a serious workout you want, add resistance training. Wear a baggy suit.
  5. If you are a competitive soul who feels that your Speedo helps you go faster (even though your are not racing anybody), get some fins instead. With fins, you'll go faster, and you'll work your legs more with fins so you'll get a better workout.

When in doubt, ask yourself WWJD? (What would John do?)

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